Eternally Family

I had a conversation once with a potential partner of mine. He was politely trying to ask me about the marriage class I was taking at the time. Not knowing how to sum up everything I was learning I simply told him, “It’s all about communication.” We both laughed and continued walking through campus. He said “That’s it, huh? That’s all you have to do to have a good marriage?” At the time I was not convinced, but I didn’t want to take the time to explain everything I was learning. So, I just said “pretty much.” Today I realized that I did not know how correct I was in that very watered down summarization of a marriage class. It IS all about communication. So many people ruin relationships (both romantic and otherwise) because of miscommunication. You can see it with other people very clearly, but it is harder to see it in yourself and your conversations with people. So often, we assign motives, we make assumptions, and we unnecessarily get angry and upset. Communication is a tool that i...

The death of a loved one. Adjusting to a new job. Adjusting to married life. Or adjusting to anything new. These and many many other factors count as stressors in family life. We all have stressors in our families. It is no new thing. Do you have events that happened that were unexpected? Maybe they were even expected. These stressors often change the dynamic of the family. Sometimes for the best or sometimes for the worst. As I talked this week to peers and professionals about this very topic we talked about the importance of choosing how we respond. Do we turn towards our family and make it a bonder and a familial relationship enhancer? Or do we turn away and make it a family destroyer? Many years ago a close acquaintance of mine (I will call him Steve) decided that he and his wife (I will call her Jan) were going to get a divorce because of stressors that were unforeseen and really difficult. They fell on financially hard times. He had started a business that tanked, and he was stil...

  “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 Many people are familiar with the Bible. Whether or not you agree with/believe in the Bible, most people would say and agree that it is important to cleave unto your spouse. The next line, however, is a very interesting one. “And they shall be one flesh.” Now, this may have some symbolic meaning as well. It could mean that the husband and wife are supposed to be one in purpose and feeling. They are supposed to be one unit. But I think we can also agree that it can also mean literally. Physical intimacy in marriage has always stressed me out a little as it does for many people no doubt. But there is no need to be afraid. It is a beautiful God-given system meant for (among other things) the procreation of children.  Part of cleaving to your spouse to share this beautiful experience with them. It is important, therefore, to be very careful not to sp...

As a child I loved to hang out with my sisters. I was the youngest of seven and the last four were girls two years apart each. We would play fairies, and each of us would choose a flavor of Jolly Ranchers to signify what type of fairy we were. Mine was cherry. I remember that time with great fondness. As we have grown, we have only gotten closer. My sisters are not the only family members I am close to. My entire family has close relationships. This is not a bad thing, of course! But as I grew up I saw my siblings one by one turn slightly away from the family and towards a significant other. I saw them get married, and I saw them leave (as it were) out of my life. I no longer had as close contact with them. I started to feel slightly awkward around them because there was always a second person to be around. I thought it was really weird… Until one day… I started dating Spencer, and it all started to make sense. At the same time I started learning about how to produce and maintain a he...