The Fragile Gift

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 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24


Many people are familiar with the Bible. Whether or not you agree with/believe in the Bible, most people would say and agree that it is important to cleave unto your spouse. The next line, however, is a very interesting one. “And they shall be one flesh.” Now, this may have some symbolic meaning as well. It could mean that the husband and wife are supposed to be one in purpose and feeling. They are supposed to be one unit. But I think we can also agree that it can also mean literally.


Physical intimacy in marriage has always stressed me out a little as it does for many people no doubt. But there is no need to be afraid. It is a beautiful God-given system meant for (among other things) the procreation of children. 


Part of cleaving to your spouse to share this beautiful experience with them. It is important, therefore, to be very careful not to spoil anything.


Recently I heard it described to me this way: Imagine you have a very wealthy great aunt with fabulous taste and a generous nature. You get married and learn that your aunt cannot attend your wedding. Because she feels bad she tells you that she got you a gift that she sent to you and it will get there on the day of your wedding. You are standing with your new spouse while people come in and talk to you. Suddenly you see some men carry in something big and heavy and beautifully wrapped. It is described as very valuable, but extremely fragile. What would you do? Would you open it right there in front of everyone? Or would you wait until it was just you and your spouse so you could open it together and share in the exciting moment? 


That is how physical intimacy is. It is something very valuable and beautiful, but very fragile. You should keep it to yourself and your spouse. It should not be something taken lightly. It is exciting while you and your spouse are unwrapping it. The man who explained this went farther and explained that you don’t have to tear it open immediately, you can unwrap it at a pace that makes both of you the most comfortable. 


This is not something to be afraid of. On the other hand, this is not something to mock, or make light. This is something that if done well can enhance your marriage incredibly. Unfortunately, it is also something that if done improperly, can negatively impact your marriage.


It is something to safeguard throughout marriage. Make sure that you set boundaries for each other. Do not let your eyes drift to others (including those not real like pornographic images). 


If it starts at your eyes and it is NOT diverted right away, it can make its way to your mind. It will take hold of your mind. Then it will move to your heart. Your heart and mind together control your actions. 


The classic example of this is once again from the Bible. King David, who was once a really good man, let his eyes and then mind dwell on Bathsheba (someone else’s wife), and it caused him to eventually commit murder so no one would know that he had committed a sin according to the laws at the time (both legal and of God). King David had been part of some amazing things, and he was an incredible person. If someone as good as he was can fall prey to this trick, so can anyone. 


Regard this portion of your marriage (whether it is current or future) like it is fragile glass. Do not let things come in to contaminate it (things like pornography or just a friendship with a coworker of the opposite sex). It can be beautiful! Be intentional about making it so. 

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