Clipping My Fingernails

“Come here, Attack, I need to clip your fingernails.”


My dad used to call me “Attack,” short for “Jack-Attack.” I thought it was so great.


I remember my dad clipping my fingernails a lot when I was little. He would always say, “Whew! We need to clip your fingernails, girl!” It was a good time to talk together too. That seems like a silly memory, but it applies to the topic I will discuss today, and I’ll tell you why.


Contact. There are many different ways of contact. There is making contact with someone else physically, whether that be a hug, a kiss, or a friendly pat on the shoulder.


Another contact is through conversation, making contact with someone’s heart. When people are vulnerable and open up to each other in conversation they make contact with each others’ hearts.


Whatever form of contact we are talking about, it means more to others than people think, especially children.


Here is where my story ties in. Children need positive physical contact so much more than we realize. Some of my fondest memories were as a child when my dad would do something as simply cutting my nails. It made me feel like I was important to him.

Similarly, the teachers that meant the most to me and who helped me become the person I needed to become were the ones who took the time to give me contact, pure, genuine, innocent contact. This could include a small tap on the shoulder to remind me of the rules, it could include a pat on the shoulder telling me I did a good job. It also includes handshakes or appropriate hugs.


Talking to a professional (whom I will call Tom) about this very topic taught me a lot. Tom told me a story of a young boy who was infamous for his bad behavior. It is important to note here that he knew this boy from church and not from a professional setting. He was thought of as obnoxious and undisciplined. Then one day Tom had an experience that made him have a desire to give this young boy some contact.


He began to shake this boy’s hand and asked him all kinds of questions every time he saw him. These questions were about his young life. He would ask these questions while keeping his hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eyes (I would venture to call that contacting the soul). Tom asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He asked him what he liked to do. He asked him about his hobbies. Soon Tom was approached by this young boy’s mother. She told Tom that she had noticed what he was doing for her son. She thanked Tom and told him that notes reporting bad behavior had stopped coming home with the boy from school. It is also important to note that this young boy was not getting any kind of contact at home.


I, of course, am not promoting the idea that strange adults need to touch children. It can be very dangerous. No, the contact I am referring to is the safe, respectful, and kind hand.

This aspect of parenting was explained by Michael Popkins, a well-known parenting expert. He said to parents, “Offer contact freely.” Children need that connection both physically and verbally with their parents.


Popkins explains that often undue attention seeking happens because the need for contact has not been met. That is why parents need to offer contact freely.


I think now you can see why my dad clipping my nails meant so much to me. He cared enough about me to take my hand and make sure I was taken care of in many ways. I grew up knowing I was cared about because of little contacts like my dad clipping my fingernails.